What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
