so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
