Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
