I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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