help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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