Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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