But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
