sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
