Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Randomize
