I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
