I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Randomize
