Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
