You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
