I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
