haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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