So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
