Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
