You smell like a Billy Joel song
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
