My friends, they love my intelligence
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just pee around me
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
