At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She even gives head with a lisp.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
