I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
