insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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