Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
