would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
