I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
