Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
