he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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