I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
