Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
