accomplished twins. life is a go
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
