Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
