this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Randomize
