why didn't you poke me back
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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