Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
