What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
