So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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