what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
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