Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
