Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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