8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
