guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
