I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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