Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
