The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Randomize
