my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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