the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You were trust falling into bushes
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
