he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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