Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
