Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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