"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
