I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
